President Chabotar, Charlotte Roberts and Seniors Deliver Remarks During 172st Commencement

President Kent Chabotar, Charlotte Roberts and graduating seniors delivered remarks during Guilford's 172st commencement exercises Saturday, May 9. Following is the text of the remarks by the students, President Chabotar and Charlotte Roberts as prepared for delivery.

 

Remarks by Saron Smith-Hardin '09

Good morning to family, friends, administration, faculty, staff, students and of course- fellow graduates of the Class of 2009. 

I would like to open up with a quote that surely all graduates are familiar with:

“What are you doing after graduation?” Although the original author is unknown, this question has been repeated many a time by anxious parents, by encouraging academic advisors and perhaps by inquisitive aunts and uncles merely trying to make small talk, unaware of the extreme emotional distress brought on by these six dreaded words. This question has been asked by peers, by friends; hopeful friends, searching for inspiration, and even worried friends, looking for someone who is in the same boat—a boat where all the passengers seem to be frantically screaming something about trying to find a job with a liberal arts degree in a recession.  

So after being asked this question dozens of times for various reasons, after endless Google searches, resume revisions, periods of denial, hours spent on Craigslist, and moments of silence, there comes a time when we have to ask ourselves the question, “What am I doing after graduation?” In trying to come up with an answer for myself, I realized it has been important for me to look at what I have done before graduation; a closer examination of how I got here and what has made up the four years leading up to today.  

I found my way to Guilford quite serendipitously (excuse the pun)—I was in Greensboro looking at other colleges in the area, and I met a middle aged man in the elevator of my hotel who mentioned that he and his son were going on a tour the next day at a school called Guilford College. I had never heard of it, but I decided I might as well go on a tour of this so-called Guilford College myself. So the next day, a rainy Monday morning, under oversized Guilford umbrellas, my dad and I walked through the quad and, then and there, I decided that this was the place for me. 

Since beginning my journey here at Guilford, I have seen myself, my friends and my classmates transform from wide-eyed and naïve 18 year olds to knowledgeable, self-aware and articulate adults. Well, adults in training at least. That transformation has occurred because of the challenges that have been posed to us, because of the questions we have been asked, by others and ourselves. I have found myself pondering questions like “What are the roots causes of systemic oppression?” and “How did I, as a Spanish major, end up in a Zoology class dissecting this fetal pig?” Answering questions, and moreover, questioning answers, something we do well at Guilford, promotes a shift in consciousness, a change.  

Our changes have been encouraged by class discussions, championship games, all-nighters, 10-pagers and Senate meetings. I have transformed thanks to my frequent visits to Glenwood Library—a special place in Greensboro where immigrants from Venezuela to Sudan come to learn and practice English. I have grown up in my semesters abroad in Mexico and Spain, learning lessons of humility, cultural differences and gratitude. Through my community work as a Bonner Scholar, I have learned about the realities of racism, sexism, classism and heterosexism, and how to work at undoing these problematic issues. In my faith journey through my Guilford years, I have witnessed the power of prayer, and the impact of acts of unconditional love and compassion. In my academic work I have developed a passion for the Spanish language and an understanding of complex historical and political issues. And undoubtedly I have learned how to be a friend—with those we have learned to love here at Guilford, we have spent four years together experiencing the adventure of being alive. Each of us here today has a list like mine, each unique—a list of moments, memories, hardships, epiphanies, accomplishments and celebrations from our Guilford years that have incited change within each one of us.  

Change, as you all know, has been used as a political catchphrase for a year or so now, but at Guilford, it is something much more than that. It is a personal process that the Guilford community challenges each of us to undergo, while simultaneously committing to nurture us during this growth period. Yes, change has happened here at Guilford even through our short time here, and will continue to happen. Change has taken place in you and in me, and as we continue to change, so will the world. The next big change, our departure from Guilford, may seem scary or even sad. But if we approach the challenges ahead with a sense of gratitude for how much we have received, how much we’ve learned, and how much strength we have developed in our time at Guilford, that next step is not so scary, nor sad. It becomes a celebration of what we can offer, what our potential is, thanks to our experiences here.  

So, what am I doing after graduation? I can say for sure that I will strive to bring to the world what Guilford has given me—a confidence in my ability, in our ability, to make change a process that transforms nations, systems, communities and relationships into entities which perpetuate understanding, creativity, respect, liberation and positive peace.  With great confidence, I urge each of us to play active roles in doing that work—because the question is not “Will there be change?” but rather “What kind of change will there be?”…and we are the generation we have been waiting for.  

Thank you and Congratulations to the Class of 2009!

 

Remarks by Mike Raper '09

When I was told I’d be speaking today, I experienced a rush of conflicting emotions.  Pride, of course, that I’d been chosen.  Humility, as well, that my classmates wanted me to represent them on today, of all days.  And finally, abject terror at the thought of speaking in front of so large a group…and trust me, you look a whole lot bigger right now than you did 30 seconds ago. 

I thought long and hard about what to say.  I tried to come up with something witty and clever, something classy and inspirational.  Unfortunately, that sort of thing just isn’t my strong suit.  I’m much more of a tell-it-like-it-is kind of guy, and I wasn’t sure how to use that today.  So I asked people that I respect for their opinions and advice, and the best thing I heard was from an old friend of mine who said “all good speeches do two things:  they tell the truth, and they answer a question.”  Now, that was more my style, and something I could do.  But what question should I answer?  That’s easy.  It’s the question that all the graduates, especially my fellow CCE graduates, have been asking all along.  Was it worth it?

You might wonder what that means.  Worth has many facets and is a highly subjective concept.  For example, you might wonder if it was worth the time.  For many of us, we’ve been going to school two, three or four nights a week for years.  That in itself is tough enough, but if you toss in a full-time job, and possibly family responsibilities, too, then you really get a busy schedule in a hurry.  Sometimes it seems like a never ending cycle of work, school and sleep, with precious little of anything else in between.  It means missing out on time with your family, missing your kid’s soccer games, dance recitals and swim meets.  It means spending your free time doing homework, and not yard work, and studying, not playing.  Your spouse is left running the home while you’re away, and your kids wonder when you’ll ever be done. 

You might also consider if it was worth the effort.  School is never easy, nor should it be.  But Guilford is a demanding school, more so than many others.  Those of you visiting today may not know that while most college courses are worth three credits, Guilford courses are worth four.  That extra credit comes at the price of a lot of extra work outside the classroom, work like preparing presentations, reading, studying for tests and doing homework.  And, to compound matters even more, Guilford is a writing-intensive school, so in almost any class you care to name, you’re going to be doing a lot of writing.  Just this semester, I wrote a total of 82 pages worth of papers in my three classes.  And that’s just the papers; that doesn’t include the one or two page homework assignments, in-class writing or essay questions on tests.  So you can imagine how much effort has gone into our whole school career, and how much we’ve had to do over the years.

Finally, you might wonder if it was worth the money.   Guilford isn’t the most expensive option in the area, but it’s not the cheapest either.  Even with tuition assistance and financial aid, attendance here can still be costly.  For many of us, that meant skipping vacations every summer and staying home instead.  It meant driving an older car for one more year instead of buying a new one, or eating at home instead of eating out.  And since this affected our families as well as ourselves, it could make it hard to keep on signing up for more classes every semester. 

So yes, the question of the day is definitely “was it worth it”, and I think we all know the answer…yes.  You might be thinking “well, you have to say that, it’s graduation day.”  Well, let me explain exactly why it was worth it.  When we all decided to go back to school, we didn’t just want the degree.  Like anyone else who’s serious about their education, we wanted to learn.  And what better place to learn than a school that makes teaching its primary mission?  You see, when I first went to college nearly 20 years ago, I went to a big university.  My first class had 24 people in it.  The professor showed up 12 minutes late, and informed us in no uncertain terms that he did not like to teach, but preferred his research.  He told us we had one exam, a final, and that it was up to us to understand the material well enough to pass.  He took no attendance, didn’t learn our names and didn’t care if we came to class or not.  He did not encourage or entertain questions and did not appreciate visits to his office.  A pretty grim introduction to college life, no?  Some might say “that’s just the college experience”.  I say, it shouldn’t be.  You can imagine my delight and surprise upon coming to Guilford and finding how very different it is.

During my first class here, the professor arrived early.  She introduced herself to us, and spent 15 minutes learning our names.  No joke, in 15 minutes she’d literally learned the name of everyone in the class.    She gave us a detailed syllabus, and it included not only her office phone number and hours, but her home and cell phone numbers, too.  She encouraged us to ask questions and engaged us in ways to make us think and understand the material.  In short, she taught, she didn’t lecture and we learned all the more for it.  And that’s how it has been here since that first class.  The faculty here sees us as people, not numbers, and as customers, not obligations.  They love to teach and it shows.  So when I say it was worth it, now you understand why…because we truly learned in our classes, and have a solid understanding of our field of study, one we might not have gotten at another school.

To you graduates, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors, whether that means going on to graduate school or entering the work force.  Whatever you do and wherever you go, I’m sure you will make Guilford, and you will remember that it was worth it.

Thank you.

 

Remarks by Charlotte Roberts, Invited Speaker

Board of Trustees, President Chabotar, Faculty and Staff, Parents and Family and especially, Graduates of the Class of 2009,

Welcome to this glorious day of celebration of learning at Guilford College!

Our hearts are full of hope and joy for these new graduates and best wishes for them as the world receives them in their new position!

This is my 12th graduation at Guilford College. No, I’m not a slow learner; I’m a Trustee of the College. It has been my honor to serve you and the classes before you as steward of the College.

I am so proud of you and the work you’ve done. I hope you are as well. Let me add that I’m proud of our faculty and staff who supported you through your learning journey. And I’m proud of the leadership for sustaining and protecting Guilford College, a life-changing treasure for students who come here.

Volunteering my time and talents as a Trustee here at Guilford College has allowed me to give back just a small part of the blessings I have received along the way. My Guilford College experience has also allowed me to honor my parents and their Quaker heritage. I am a member of the Society of Friends, a Quaker, but not a birthright Quaker. For those of you who may not know, that just means that one of my parents, my father, wasn’t a member of the Society of Friends but when he embraced his new bride, he also embraced the values of Quakers.

In part, I’d like to use my family background to engage you in thought about your future.

What then, can I, a Quaker Trustee, say to you at this difficult time of recession – yes, a downturn in the economy, but also a depression in ethics and a crisis of Spirit?

As a popular Quaker sign says, “In the case of an emergency, be quiet. We need to center.” These times call for quiet focus.

This may be your first recession, but it certainly won’t be your last. All systems oscillate – high to low to high again. Left to right to left again. You get the picture. Be sure to take in valuable lessons from these times that will serve you in your future.

Because of the economy you’re graduating into, I feel compelled to be practical as well as inspirational. It’s a good balance to strike any time!

From two vantage points, then, I’d like to offer 3 lessons I have gleaned from my Quaker heritage as well as from the few recessions I’ve lived through.

First, let me encourage you to take with you the Quaker Values you have experienced here and practice them. These will serve you well in any situation, especially at work. You probably will have to translate your actions into everyday language for others understand your intention. For example, I use the word “alignment” to talk about Unity of Spirit among executive teams. Don’t worry so much about the words; your actions are what will make the difference.

There isn’t enough time to cover all of them, so I have selected three values that have proven valuable in my career and I believe are within your control.

At Guilford you have heard about “Seeing that of God or the Divine within the other.” At the heart of relationships and Guilford values of community and equality, is what you believe about the other person. Do you believe people are basically good or bad? Do you trust people first or do they have to earn it with you?

How do you translate “Seeing that of God” into the workplace? A common way I have seen leadership teams talk about this is: assume the best intention from the other. Before getting angry with someone’s action or inaction, be quiet and center! You don’t know their reasoning, their reality or their cultural influences, so don’t assume you know the meaning of their actions or words until you’ve had a chance to talk with them.

Seeing that of God in others embraces diversity. Eboo Patel, a Muslim writer, says, “We are given Diversity so that we may know the beauty and power of God.” Approach others with that expectation!

That leads to a second practice: listen deeply to others – what they are saying and what they are not saying, as well as what they cannot yet articulate. Douglas Steere, a Quaker scholar, wrote that “To ‘listen’ another’s soul into disclosure and discovery may be the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.” It’s an honor to be in a group of people who are in deep dialogue and allowing new understanding to emerge. During conversations, interviews, or meetings, listen deeply. It draws you into a deeper relationship with the other person so you may see the God within them and both of you may discover who you are and what potential rests between you.

Organizations are biased for people who can “play well with others.” Both of these values will help you demonstrate that.

One more value to take with you that fits these times is simplicity. Keep your relationships simple. It’s as easy as the Golden Rule – do to others as you would have them do to you.

There are other aspects of simplicity. Keep your life relatively simple financially. My Quaker mother had a particular way of clarifying simplicity. She taught us to put aside enough money for six months of unemployment and never touch it. This requires knowing what you need for the simplest living. In a couple of years you may have the choice of saving or consuming, living simply or materially. Which image do you want for yourself? What do you need to live a simple life?

One more element of simplicity – time. Don’t get so caught up in what is going on around you and all the ways to connect electronically that you lose yourself and your relationship with Spirit. Simplify so there’s time and space for becoming who you are intended to be.

Being generous in your relationships by seeing the Divine in others, listening deeply to discover who you are in community and living simply create a formula for weathering the oscillations in any economy.

The second lesson is about work. Two-thirds of your life will be spent working. Find the right work for you and your soul.

I hope you are able to find the right job for you as quickly as possible. Other Trustees and I have worked with some of you to help you get connected into organizations.

If that doesn’t happen immediately, be practical. Any time you are between jobs, stay busy. For example, this summer, take a part-time position, volunteer at a pre-school or nursing home, or tutor children in your neighborhood. Find a community leader and ask if you can work with the staff to gain experience. Show your motivation and resourcefulness. On your resume, put all your service projects, those at Guilford College and your new ones. These experiences represent valuable employment of your mind and talents.

Go about your work with anticipation that you will find your calling. It may take a few years for some of you to know exactly what you’re on this planet to do, but wait with expectation for a profound sense that you are living your purpose. This doesn’t mean the same career or job – you’ll change that several times. Living Your Purpose means being engaged mind, body and spirit in work that is aligned with your essence. Work becomes the full expression of you and your spirit.

At Guilford, you have been exposed to many serious issues among people and the planet. If you are concerned about many issues on the planet, how do you reconcile your focused calling? Others will find their calling in those issues.

A Quaker scholar defined personal testimony as “one’s share of the joyous burdens of love. Toward the multitude of good things that need doing, toward them all we feel kindly, but we are dismissed from active service in most of them. And we have an easy mind in the presence of desperately real needs which are not our direct responsibility.” Others will attend to them.

Living out your calling requires that you be fully engaged. You will not find your work a burden, but you may work very hard. Living out your purpose is not work to be taken lightly AND YET it will definitely lighten your heart.

The third lesson I have to offer is continue learning and shaping who you are, continue to grow in heart, mind and spirit as you remain true to yourself and your vision.

From the practical point of view, Discover your strengths and place yourself in situations that take advantage of your talents. Stretch yourself and also find out what you are NOT good at. If you choose a job or situation that requires skills you have not been able to acquire or master, your performance and reputation will suffer, maybe even your self confidence. If you choose a job for the salary or the status, you will feel the hollowness of each work day. And the organizations will also suffer the loss of the best you have to offer.

Be proud of who you are and what capabilities you have as part of your mastery.

One of the best ways to polish your potential is to volunteer your time and talents for others. You can learn a great deal about who you are as you interact with others and get their reactions. Serve on non-profit boards and feel the responsibility for an institution while you develop your leadership.

A bonus from volunteering is you can “pay it forward” for the people here at Guilford College who have given generously to you their time, encouragement and coaching. What group of people or which situations call to you? Sign up to serve them.

Bring your Light into the world and be true to who you are. A cardiologist, George Sheehan, was an avid runner and philosopher. At a sales conference I was attending early in my work life, he challenged each person to know who they are in values and vision and to become her or his highest potential. He stated that there is virtually no chance that our parents could combine DNA in the same exact pattern that created us. You and I really are one of a kind – with your identical twin if you have one. Here was his disturbing question. “WILL YOU OCCUR?” What do you mean - - will I occur? I still carry that question with me and center on my answer at different times. I believe he was asking me then and now: Am I willing to walk this planet and live out my purpose or will I live out others’ expectations and concerns for me?

So I ask you, “Will you occur?”

My colleagues on the Board and I believe you have the foundation to make a difference in this world in your unique way. One day you may be my senator, doctor, lawyer, advocate, or neighbor. Please commit to being your best.

We need you in all your fullness.

Congratulations on opening a new doorway into your future!

God be with you. Go in peace and love.

 

President Chabotar's Charge to the Class of 2009

How best can I charge the Class of 2009?   

Many of you know me as Mr. Strategic Planning who gets mesmerized by innumerable future scenarios and impenetrable five-year financial models.  Others have met me as your professor. My 17-page syllabus leaves no doubt on future topics and timing and is unquestionably as detailed as the invasion plans for Normandy in World War II. Vice presidents and deans know that career-limiting moves include blindsiding and not dealing with concerns before they become crises.   

So given this history, my charge to you this morning may be surprising:  Live in the moment.   

Mark Twain said, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”  These words convey the sublime wisdom that there is no sense always fearing tomorrow even at a time of economic distress.  If you are confident you will succeed, you probably will.  There is also no sense living in the past and obsessing on yesterday except possibly to learn from it.  But there is great sense in savoring the joys of today and the power of the present.  It is what it is.

How do we screw this up?  By words like “I should have done that…..”  “I wish this had not happened….”  Well you did not do it. It did happen.  Get over it.  Move on.  Forget about "what if" and pay attention to "what is."  Like what is happening now is that you are really graduating. By actions like over-scheduling your time and fixating on “to do” lists.  John Lennon wrote that "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." By speculations about what the weather will be like this weekend or how many miles until you get to your destination.  Remember tormenting your parents on road trips with “Are we there yet?” Some people are born anxious.  My little sister habitually sat down to a tasty supper and asked before eating a morsel “What’s for lunch tomorrow?”  Marie still does it, and she’s 51 years old.  

How do we get better?  I have no silver bullets only a few suggestions. 

First, ditch the Blackberries and iPhones, watches and atomic clocks, electronic calendars, Lotus Notes and Google mail, and losing focus and conversation in a frenzy of multi-tasking. There really was an America and there really was a world before you made friends on Facebook, tweeted on twitter, and depended on the internet for constant self-affirmation.  Pretend you are a Renaissance artist or poet for whom dreams need have no destinations and creativity has no boundaries.  I know exactly what Joyce Grenfell meant when she said: “There’s no such thing as time, only this very minute, and I’m in it.” 

Second, take a walk.  To paraphrase another college president, Guilford does not have a parking problem.  We have a walking problem.  Walk to work.  Loiter on a park bench.  Check out the woods, meadows, and lake.  Don’t take for granted the color of azaleas or the scent of roses, the way trees dance with the sun, the thousand points of light in a night sky, and how water lazily meanders in a stream, cascades in a river, or shimmers after a rain shower. People watch. Walk into a new art gallery or old church.  A current VISA ad asks, “When was the last time you took your daughter to the Aquarium…on a Tuesday?”   

Third, hang out with friends who rejoice in each day the Lord has made, hate drama and unhappiness, and radiate positive energy.  Find your own version of what Luke Skywalker discovered as the Force.  Avoid people who are caught on the Dark Side of misery and regret.  Instead of being mired in gloom like Shakespeare’s Hamlet at Elsinore or Richard III on Bosworth Field, be an eagle like Henry V before Agincourt.  Take a lesson from children.  Making funny faces, acting silly, and running wild allows them to dwell in the present without guilt and accept life with wonder.  Just watch their eyes.   

Fourth, lighten up.  Quit trying to be insulted or offended.  Laugh every chance you get.  You don’t have to be Ellen DeGeneres or David Letterman to bring the joy of laughter to others.  Remember that Mark Twain also said that “wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” 

My best friend in high school epitomized the power of now.  Bob surely agreed with Emerson that wisdom consists in finishing the moment, finding the journey’s end in every step of the road, and living the greatest number of good hours.  Bob’s joie de vivre was matchless.  To him, every day was a gift and even study hall could be an adventure.  I think he invented the word “spontaneous.” Before we graduated, Bob was killed in an accident.  He’s been gone for 45 years.  I have lived not just celebrating his memory but trying to fulfill his legacy of happiness, confidence, and, above all, fun.  Above all, fun. 

There you have it.  The Quakers end meetings with moments of silence.  We New England Catholics cannot be that quiet.  We like our sounds and songs, our smells and bells.  So let me end with a Prayer for the Game of Life by Richard Cardinal Cushing, who was Archbishop of Boston.  Boston—the Athens of America, cradle of liberty and the home of invincible Patriots, Bruins, Celtics, and Red Sox.   

Dear God, help me be a good sport in the game of life.  I don't ask for an easy place in the lineup. Put me anywhere you need me.  I only ask that I can give you 100% of everything I have. If all the hard drives seem to come my way, I thank you for the compliment. Help me to remember that you never send a player more trouble then he can handle with your help….And help me, Lord, to accept the bad breaks as part of the game. May I always play on the square no matter what others do….Finally, God, if the natural turn of events goes against me and I am benched for sickness or old age, help me accept that as a part of the game, too. Keep me from whimpering that I was framed or that I got a raw deal.  And when I finish the final inning, I ask for no laurels; all I want is to believe in my heart, I played as well as I could and that I didn't let you down.  

Amen, good-bye, and Godspeed to the Class of 2009.  You didn’t let us down either.

May 9, 2009